You gotta laugh!

The Children's Science Exam!

>
> Q: Name the four seasons.
> A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
>
> Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe
> to drink.
> A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large
> pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
>
> Q: How is dew formed?
> A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
>
> Q: How can you delay milk turning sour? (brilliant, love this!)
> A: Keep it in the cow.
>
> Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
> A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All
> water
> tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the
> moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in
> this fight.
>
> Q: What are steroids?
> A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
>
> Q: What happens to your body as you age?
> A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get
> intercontinental.
>
> Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
> A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his
> adultery.
>
> Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
> A: Premature death.
>
> Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (e.g.,
> abdomen.)
> A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the
> borax
> and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the
> borax
> contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains
> the
>
> five bowels, A, E, I, O, and U.
>
> Q: What is the fibula?
> A: A small lie.
>
> Q: What does "varicose" mean? ( Gotta love this one...)
> A: Nearby.
>
> Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section"
> A: The Caesarean Section is a district in Rome.
>
> Q: What does the word "benign" mean?'
> A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
>